Kick Off Your Summer with FemDem's May Newsletter

Message from the President

Greetings Fem Dems and Happy Asian American and Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander (AANHPI) month!

May is a time to reflect upon and celebrate the remarkable role and contributions of the AANHPI community. This month, we reflect on the tradition of leadership, resilience, and courage shown by AANHPI communities, and recommit to pushing equity for AANHPI. We must continue to uplift the community and be strong allies today and always. 

Additionally, May is also mental health awareness month. Together, we must fight stigmas, educate one another, and provide support. I hope that amongst the chaos, you give yourself grace, take care of your own wellness , and take a moment to cherish the good around you. 

Last but not least, I’d like to take a moment to reintroduce myself. My name is Alice Montes and I have the greatest honor and privilege of being elected this year’s Fem Dems President. I have been on the board for 5 years now, first as finance director and then as vice president. Nothing brings me more joy than being a part of an organization that elects progressive leaders and helps the greater Sacramento community. I look forward to working alongside this new and amazing board. It is full of eager and motivated individuals. Please do not hesitate to reach out to any one of us to chat, get involved, or to let us know how we as Fem Dems can be there to support you. 

In community,

Alice Montes

Introducing our 2023-2024 FemDems Executive Board

President - Alice Montes
Vice President - Brooke Prichard
Secretary - Nia Jones
Communications Director - Erika Valle
Treasurer - Shy Forbes
Member Services and Outreach Coordinator - Symphoni Barbee
Political Director - Faith Lee
Pipeline Program Director - Katrina Linden
Finance Director - Rainer Apostol
Parliamentarian - Valeria Hernandez
General Counsel - Amber Maltbie
Media Relations Director- McKenna Jenkins

2023-2024 Executive Board Retreat 

Our Fem Dems Executive Board met for our 2023 Executive Board retreat in early May! The board planned many social, political, and community oriented events for the next few months. Be sure you pay your dues and stay subscribed to our newsletter and follow us on twitter/instagram to stay informed about upcoming events. 

Pay your dues here. 

Women Dems 2023 Ice Cream and Wine Social 

Join Women Democrats of Sacramento County on Thursday, June 1st for their annual ice cream social! The event features 7 delicious ice cream flavors, wine, and a silent auction. Purchase your tickets at the link below. 

When: Thursday, June 1st from 5:00pm - 7:00pm 

Where: Park Terrace, 5500 Parkfield Court, Sacramento 

Rainer Apostol-Dooley (they/them), Finance Director
 

What is your role on the board and what do you hope to accomplish?

My role on the board is Finance Director! I have the privilege of planning our annual fundraiser this year and hope to bring in additional first-time sponsors of Fem Dems and uplift our work while also focusing on the work of the community. I'm also looking forward to supporting and contributing to our organization and other members' work. As a non-binary Board Member, I'm excited to work with our organization to further expand our focus on LGBTQ+ and gender-expansive understandings of feminism.

From your perspective, what is one of the biggest feminist issues right now? 

One of the biggest feminist issues right now, in my view, is the intersectional issue of equity for all genders and sexualities, class backgrounds, and racial identities. It is apparent in the disparate outcomes for people of lower incomes, communities of color, and LGBTQ+ people that there is still a great deal of work to be done. The feminist movement specifically has historically in the United States centered white, able-bodied, middle/upper-class, cisgender, and heterosexual women. I believe that our job as a feminist organization is to be a living expansion of this movement that actively includes and centers every historically excluded group.

What is your favorite part about being a part of Fem Dems or your favorite event?

My favorite part about being part of Fem Dems, as a new Board member and returning member, is the community that it embodies and the intentionality with which our organization makes decisions. I really appreciate that all of the board members take their roles seriously and understand the platform that our organization has to make a difference in and support our community, and I'm excited to be part of that at the Board level!

What is a fun fact about you?

 A fun fact about me is that I have a bearded dragon!! His name is Artie, he's four years old, and he's perfect.

KEEP IN TOUCH!

Alice Montes, Chapter President, linda@femdems.org
Brooke Pritchard, Chapter Vice President, brooke@femdems.org
Shy Forbes, Treasurer, shy@femdems.org
Nia Jones, Secretary, nia@femdems.org
Faith Lee, Political Affairs Director, faith@femdems.org
McKenna Jenkins, Media Relations Director, mckenna@femdems.org
Erika Valle, Communications Director, erika@femdems.org 
Rainer Apostol, Finance Director, rainer@femdems.org 
Katrina Linden, Pipeline Programming Director, katrina@femdems.org
Symphoni Barbee, Membership and Outreach Director, symphoni@femdems.org

WHO WE ARE

The Mission of the Fem Dems is to promote the feminist principles of political, economic, and social equality between the sexes. 
We are a local club that meets monthly to discuss the issues our members want to talk about; from everything from pay equity to access to reproductive health care. We are committed to promoting feminist ideals through a combination of volunteerism, community outreach, fundraising and political activism.
We do this by building leadership skills, engaging community leaders, and discussing current events impacting gender equality and our local community.

For more information, check out our website!

BECOME A MEMBER!

If you haven't paid your dues yet, it's not too late. Membership is only $20 for the year! Your contribution will help us continue to organize interesting speakers for future events, contribute to endorsed candidates, facilitate workshops and more. Sign up today!

Executive board elections for 2020-2021 postponed

Due to the current public health orders, the Fem Dems Executive Board has voted to suspend the bylaws and to postpone the elections which had been scheduled for March 25.

Tentatively, the elections have been rescheduled for the 4th Wednesday of April (April 22), to be reassessed pending the changes to public health protocols.

Candidate profiles can be found here.

Women’s Empowerment Workshop Recap

By: Samhita Saquib
2018-19 Candidate for Fem Dems Membership Director

On Saturday, March 10th, Fem Dems volunteered with the International Rescue Committee (IRC) for a women’s empowerment workshop to help newly arrived refugee women learn how to use smartphones. 

I've been volunteering for the IRC for over a year now. Though the refugee crisis has plagued me for years, the travel ban in early 2017 deeply triggered my need to involve more of my peers to make resettled populations feel welcomed into our country. The travel ban felt highly personal to me - I grew up in a Muslim family, and couldn't shake how it was a circumstance of luck that I happened to be born in California, with so many opportunities available to me, my citizenship by birth to protect me from the racial attempts by the current administration to block Muslim families from seeking safety in the United States. 

The work that the IRC does to help resettle families, treat them with care and respect as they begin their new lives here, and to continue to provide aid upon resettlement really called to me, and I spent the last year getting my friends and family to participate in several volunteer events. As Fem Dems values promoting women's empowerment and social equality between the sexes, I saw the opportunity to get members involved in a workshop that focused on giving resettled women opportunities they may not have previously had. 

On Saturday morning, the IRC provided brand new Android phones to the women participants and relied of Fem Dems volunteers to help them set up the phones in an effort to promote the women’s independence and agency in a new environment. In many refugee families, one phone is shared by all, or the second phone is a free phone that does not offer all of the valuable features of modern technology. 

We spent the day pairing up with refugee women and teaching them how to use the phones to meet their personal needs. We taught them how to use navigation tools so they can become mobilized, how to download apps that let them contact family members overseas for free, how to access online educational tools, and how to use the phones for entertainment purposes, such as YouTube, Netflix, or games for their children. 

We also spent time getting to know each other as a group and discussing the strength of a female support system in the community. We met refugees who wanted to become doctors, teachers, or translators, as well as mothers who wanted to provide as many opportunities for their kids as they could.

It was a lovely afternoon filled with inspiring stories, hugs of encouragement, and gratitude from both sides for the exposure to each other's lives. 

The IRC has weekend workshops the 2nd and 4th Saturday of each month. If interested, please email VolunteerSacramento@rescue.org to be added to their distribution list.

You Didn't Deserve What Happened to You.

By: Kristi Thielen,
Communications Director

The Fem Dems of Sacramento, an organization I have been on the board of since 2016, had just won the award of Chapter of the Year from the county Democratic Party. It was awesome that a feminist organization was recognized for going above and beyond to empower women and help other Democratic organizations make strides in the right direction.

We accepted the award at the Democratic Party’s annual dinner and I did my standard mix and mingling after the program. Coming off a high of hard work and acknowledgement, I decided to leave a little early and walk to my car, a block away from the event. This was a part of town I am very familiar with: my old office was in sight and I stood at this very crosswalk every day for 2 years. As I was standing on the corner of 12th and J, feet away from my car, I felt a hard slap on my ass.

At first, I totally thought it was one of my friends also leaving the event. Why else would that happen?

In shock, I saw a man on a bike riding quickly away. I suddenly realized that it wasn’t any of my friends, but that a random guy sexually assaulted me on the street.

I screamed, “FUCK YOU,” then I started to shake. Mind you, this was around 8:30pm, on a busy intersection and no one walking near me even acknowledged that it happened.

In shock, I quickly called my boyfriend, not sure what to do. My mind was in twelve different places: I knew I needed to quickly get to safety, then I tried to minimize the situation – no need to call the police for something like this right? As I was driving home, I had a panic attack as I called my mom. I suddenly realized, no, this isn’t normal and no, I shouldn’t minimize my experience of street harassment/sexual assault.

My next thought was, it could have been worse. But this is exactly the problem.

Sexual assault is defined as “unwanted touching of another person’s intimate parts.” This includes “buttock”. All sexual assault is wrong – No matter the severity.

I was fortunate nothing else happened, but that doesn’t diminish the fact that I felt violated – It was an incredibly degrading experience. The audacity of that man to think he had the right to do something like that is beyond unacceptable; it’s unlawful.

To think, I was walking home, enjoying my evening and acknowledgement for all the strides I believed we were making, just to be degraded and assaulted minutes later on the street. When does it stop?

As advised by a close friend, I filed a police report. I was bruised both physically and emotionally – The adrenaline kept me from feeling the physical pain.

You should always report these instances of sexual assault. Even if you don’t think it’s that big of a deal, you could prevent it from happening to someone else.

Unfortunately, there’s an unfair burden for women or victims of these crimes to act in order to get justice. And with the #MeToo letter surfacing, it’s clear there’s a war on women on many fronts, in countless industries and enough is enough.

Let’s face it: we’ve all experiences instances of degradation. Almost all of us have experienced being catcalled and harassed on the street. But it goes further than that. This was not the first time I was sexually assaulted and I fear it won’t be my last.

I asked the rest of the Fem Dems E-board totaling nine women how many of them have experienced these examples of violence against women:

Three of us said we’ve been sexually assaulted.

One of us said we’ve experienced domestic violence.

Five of us said we’ve experienced sexual harassment.

Two of us said we’ve been stalked.

Three of us said we’ve been “upskirted”, a term for when you’ve been photographed without consent.

One of us said we’ve experienced intimate partner abuse.

And this is pretty on par, if not high, compared to the national percentages. What’s clear is that violence against women needs to stop.

To that asshole who assaulted me: Your day will come.

To all the other women who have experienced this kind of violence: I’m so sorry. You are strong, you are resilient and it’s ok to ask for help and support. You didn’t deserve what happened to you.

I decided to share my story because I hope it will change the way we think about sexual assault and violence against women. It makes it personal.

We as Fem Dems are committed to fight for the equal right to walk and the streets and feel safe. Share your story, report these instances of sexual assault and know that you are not alone.

When A Bump In The Belly Turns Into A Bump In The Road

A brief discussion about statistics, grief support, and the reproductive injustices surrounding pregnancy loss

By: Mary McCune
Pipeline Program Director
 

I remember the day I finally got a positive pregnancy test. I swear I must have peed on over 50 tests throughout this year before getting the magical positive one. I had to eventually switch to the cheap tests that look like pH test strips for pools because it got expensive pretty fast. The day it happened, we splurged and bought a digital pregnancy test that boldly displayed the word "pregnant" on the screen to eliminate any doubt my husband and I had.  

Getting pregnant was frustrating. Each month was a painful week-long reminder that I wasn’t there yet. And each month when I ended my cycle, I felt like my newsfeed always displayed a friend’s pregnancy or birth announcement. Since we started to try, these announcements meant more to me – a potential glimpse into the future and deeper empathy for the excitement my friends’ families were feeling.

I decided to tell friends, family, and even coworkers about my pregnancy quite early, around 6 weeks, for a couple of reasons. First, my morning sickness was oftentimes hard to hide. But secondly, I felt comfortable sharing my experiences with others, no matter the ultimate outcome.

I worked at Planned Parenthood for many years and had become familiar with the statistics related to U.S. pregnancies. I already knew that approximately 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. The instance of miscarriage with black women is even higher due to several reasons, including lack of prenatal care. That means approximately one out of every four pregnant women experience pregnancy loss.

Sharing the news was exciting. We spent hours with friends and family discussing baby names. We would peruse Pinterest looking at nursery decor and search Yelp and Nextdoor for neighborhood daycares. We couldn’t wait to meet our little one and counted the days until our first ultrasound. When I woke up on the morning of the appointment, I picked out the magnet I would use to pin up the ultrasound picture on the fridge.  

The silence was deafening. I stared at the ceiling for an eternity as the doctor squirted more and more gel, trying different angles, and digging deeper into my abdomen to try and find signs of life. The ultrasound appointment was the opposite of what I expected. I left the appointment with a diagnosed UTI, a surprise pap smear, and an everlasting memory. I went back two days later for another hour of continued silent ultrasounds and a call later that evening confirming my fear.

Miscarriage.

I was given three treatment options: expectant management (sit and wait), medical management (induced through misoprostol pills), or surgical evacuation. There was no clear option for me, as each option had their own pros and cons. Ultimately, I chose medical management because I did not want to spend hours in hospital triage waiting for a surgery room on a Friday night.

However, I ended up waiting almost an hour at the hospital pharmacy. Misoprostol, more commonly known as the “abortion pill,” is sometimes hard to obtain at commercial pharmacies because under California law, pharmacists can refuse to fill these prescriptions based on their own ethical, moral, or religious objections.

I went home and took my medication that evening. I saw medical management as a way of closing a chapter and a conclusive end to the pregnancy. I had pizza ordered, ice cream in the freezer, and my favorite TV shows queued up. A couple of hours later, I started feeling contractions and eventually started to pass a majority of the tissue. The most painful part of the process lasted approximately 12 hours, although extreme cramping, tissue passage, and bleeding can last up to two weeks.

Grief manifests itself differently in everyone. What worked for me might not be helpful for others. I found that the following types of support from friends were helpful in my own grieving and recovery processes:

Sharing personal stories

I was shocked by the number of women I knew who had experienced similar procedures and miscarriages. Hearing their stories was therapeutic, normalized my experience, and made me feel less alone.

Serving as a sounding board

Depending on the person, spouting off statistics might not be the best way to heal. While many of my friends tried to comfort me (with the best of intentions) by reassuring me statistically “next time it will be fine,” or “at least you weren’t further along,” other women might find those comments to be minimizing their experience. Sometimes, simply letting your grieving friend talk it out can be helpful.

Helping to find resources

If you have not personally experienced a miscarriage, asking if your grieving friend is able to connect with others with similar experiences is a thoughtful way to provide support. If she doesn’t feel comfortable or doesn’t know anyone with these shared experiences, there are plenty of support groups in Sacramento for grieving women and families like Sharing Parents or local Meetup groups.

Spending time on distractions

Sometimes I didn’t want to talk. The night the doctor confirmed the miscarriage, my best friend came over with sushi and we drank wine for the entire night without barely mentioning the miscarriage. It was a needed respite from the previous three days of limbo.

Despite everything, I consider myself fortunate. I have supportive family, friends, and coworkers. I also have a doctor that educated me on all of my options with dignity and respect. Unfortunately, other women are not afforded this type of care. Some states, including Indiana and Georgia, have laws requiring burial or cremation for abortions, miscarriages, and stillbirths. Other states, like Iowa, have debated laws eliminating medical options for women experiencing miscarriages, forcing them to either carry to term or experience expectant management. Similar barriers on access to care for women seeking abortions can be seen across the country. These discussions and decisions should always be left to a woman and her medical provider, not the legislature.   

Why am I sharing my story? I want to help change our whisper culture surrounding pregnancy loss. I want my girlfriends who experience this type of loss to know to come to me for support if they need it. I want to share appropriate support strategies to friends of women who experience miscarriage. And I want to shed light on the reproductive injustices and barriers to care women experience based on their race or where they live.

Because after all, I am one in four.

Fem Dems Statement on Trump's Decision to Terminate DACA

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
September 6, 2017
Nicole Norton
nicole@femdems.org
951.492.8564
                                                                      

FEM DEMS STATEMENT ON TRUMPS’S DECISION TO TERMINATE DACA

SACRAMENTO – The Fem Dems of Sacramento strongly and unequivocally condemn the decision to terminate the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) program.

"DACAmented folks are Americans, full stop. They are a part of our community, and we stand with them," said Fem Dems President Denise Tugade. "The decision to end the DACA program is a cynical move meant to capitalize on misplaced hatred and outdated xenophobia. It is despicable that the Trump Administration is playing politics with the lives of some 800,000 innocent young people."

The Fem Dems of Sacramento are strongly opposed to exclusionary laws, programs, or messages being perpetrated by the Trump Administration, including the recent announcement to terminate DACA. Our families, friends and fellow members are personally connected to this and we will not rest until our DREAMers are protected.

Call your member of congress, along with Senators Feinstein and Harris, to urge your support for DACA. The U.S. Capitol switchboard is (202) 224-3121.

OTHER WAYS YOU CAN HELP:

9 Immigration Organizations To Donate To If You Want To Support DACA Recipients

Be A Good Ally: Don’t Get Your Undocumented Friends in Trouble: A How-To

Attend and share a Know Your Rights Event: McGeorge School of Law is conducting a preliminary event on September 13 where they will provide free consultations and explain what steps are needed to complete applications regarding DACA and Naturalization.  If you know members of the community who would be interested in applying for Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) or Naturalization please have them contact Community Legal Services at 916-340-6080

City of Sacramento DACA Resources

ABOUT THE FEM DEMS OF SACRAMENTO

The mission of the Fem Dems is to promote the feminist principles of political, economic and social equality between the sexes. We are committed to promoting feminist ideals through a combination of volunteerism, community outreach, fundraising and political activism. We do this by building leadership skills, engaging community leaders, and discussing current events impacting gender equality and our local community.

Advocacy Academy: Advocacy 101 Download

Mary McCune, Pipeline Program Director

Last weekend, the Fem Dems in collaboration with the Sacramento County Young Democrats (SCYD) hosted the first of four Advocacy Academies at McGeorge School of Law.  Attendees from Midtown, Folsom, Antelope, Citrus Heights, Oak Park, and other neighboring communities came together to learn how to be more effective agents of change.  The Academy consisted of three panels focused on various areas of advocacy.

In the first panel, the Academy invited three local powerhouse women with unique experiences with constituent relations to speak about their experiences advancing their careers in politics, balancing life, and tips for reaching out to elected member offices.

Left to right: Stephanie Nguyen (Executive Director, Asian Resources, Inc./Elk Grove City Council Member), Omega Brewer (Political Director, SEIU 2015), Aubrie Fong (District Director, Asm. Kevin McCarty)

In the second panel, we invited staff from Mayor Darrell Steinberg’s office to discuss the City’s new e-comment feature, effective ways to keep up with local and city politics, and effective channels to communicate with city officials through calls, letters, community events, and public comment.

Left: Jaycob Bytel (Deputy Communications Director, Office of Mayor Darrell Steinberg)
Right: Kelly Fong Rivas (Deputy Chief of Staff, Office of Mayor Darrell Steinberg)

We topped of our day by inviting three social media mavens to explore the elements of an effective press release, tips on how to get picked up by social media outlets, and controlling your message using online social media platforms.  

Top: Kristi K. Thielen (Legislative Aide, Asm. Rob Bonta)
Middle: Sami Gallegos (Content Producer, ABC10)
Bottom: Kevin Liao (Press Secretary, Asm. Speaker Anthony Rendon

To learn more about Advocacy Academy, one of our many Pipeline Programming Initiatives, click here or contact Mary McCune, Fem Dems Pipeline Programming Director at mary@femdems.org.